You're My Life
by fujoshiWe
Summary: Romantica Oneshot. Life was so beautiful for Usami Akihiko. He had everything. It means: He had Misaki. Misaki was his life. World could shatter but he didn't care as long as he had Misaki. Or so he thought...


**Well yes I know. I can practically see many readers want to kill me for not updating my other fics. But I can't help it. I just get my heart broken recently. That's why I'm inspired to write angst fic…. Please forgive me? **

**Please make me a happy okhaaay… review… review? Come on, I just get my heart broken. Review will make my crying stop :D **

**anyway this is my first angst fic. Usually I write humor so forgive me if this is bad.  
**

**Disclaimer : I don't own Junjou Romantica**

_The street lamp gleamed in the quite alleyway. Sound of cars and traffic could be heard vaguely from afar. The sky was dark, all stars was hidden behind the cloud. A dog was barking once awhile, ceasing the silent night._

_The air was cold. A silver haired man was waking in that silent alleyway. A cigarette was dangling on his mouth. He took it from his mouth and blew the smoke absentmindedly, one hand deep in his pocket._

"_Misaki…" the man whispered softly. However, the answer was just the soft wind through his skin. "Misaki…"_

==o0o==o0o0o==o0o==

**YOU ARE MY LIFE  
**

"I'm leaving. If you're hungry before I'm home, just take the frozen okomiyaki to the microwave. Remember not to set the temperature to high or it'll burn," Misaki walked to the door and put on his shoes.

"I'll give you a ride Misaki," Akihiko said from the couch.

"NO YOU DON'T!" Misaki and Aikawa shouted simultaneously.

"LEAVE THIS HOUSE ONE FUCKING STEP AND I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Aikawa shook the lazy author crazily. Misaki swore he could see a pair of devil horn on top of Aikawa's red hair. "You missed the deadline for THREE FUCKING DAYS already! If you don't finish these last twenty pages before 5 PM I don't guarantee your fucking head will still attach to your fucking neck again!"

"Tch," Akihiko clicked his tongue in annoyance.

Sometimes Misaki really wonder how this man can manage to still alive until now under that devil-woman's evilness. "Geez just finish your work Usagi-san. I'm fine with walking anyway," he opened the door. But before he could exit, Akihiko caught him in embrace. "Gyaaaah let me go!"

Akihiko smiled and released him. He then ruffled the boy's hair. "Have a nice day, love."

Misaki blushed instantly. 'How can he say something like that with straight face!' "B-baka"

"Kyaaaa you two are such flirts! Sooo cuuuute!" suddenly Aikawa's eyes turner to heart shape. A pink aura was so clear around her, totally in yaoi fangirl mode.

"Aikawa-san, I beg you to not look at me with those eyes of fangirl!" Misaki cried in frustration. 'Where did the devil-woman from before? Who is this fangirl? What she did to Aikawa-san?' Misaki mentalled, with that he stormed from the room and ran to the elevator. His reddened face rivaling a heated lobster right now.

"He's so cute," Aikawa said to Akihiko with smile.

"Yes. And he's mine," Akihiko chuckled.

"And I don't care! Finish the manuscript right now!" the devil-horn was on Aikawa's head again.

Ah, the devil was back.

The day was passed in peace. So was the day after, and many days after too. Life was just so beautiful for Usami Akihiko. He almost had everything. But the most important was: He had Misaki. Misaki was his life. World could shatter in pieces but if he had Misaki it didn't matter. His life was perfect with Misaki beside him.

Or so he thought…

==o0o==o0o0o==o0o==

It was a usual day. A usual day with Misaki went to university, with Akihiko dropping him there, with Akihiko giving the boy goodbye kiss before Misaki exited the car, and with many usual things.

Akihiko was back to his penthouse with content smile. He's in very good mood. 'Gotta get some work done,' he thought to himself (somewhere in the Marukawa Publishing, Aikawa felt unusually so happy. It's felt like a ton of stone was lifted off of her shoulder.).

However Akihiko's good mood didn't last long. As he entered his penthouse, someone was sitting in the living room beside Suzuki-san.

Akihiko growled, "What do you want?"

The man looked up at Akihiko and smiled, "welcome back."

"Stop with your shit! What are you doing here, what do you want and how you can enter my house!"

"Well well. First, I'm visiting you. Second, I want to talk to you. Third, Takahashi-kun gave me the security code. And the last, it's not nice to yell at your father Akihiko," Fuyuhiko answered in calm voice.

Akihiko's eyes twitched in irritation, "then finish your talk and get out of here soon."

"So cold Akihiko," Fuyuhiko gave him a hurt face. "I just want to talk about Takahashi-kun."

"Then I don't have a time," Akihiko answered coldly. He proceeded to walk to the stair, ignoring his father.

Fuyuhiko sighed, "How many times I must say to you. He didn't suit to you at all."

"And how many times I must say to you that I love him so much?" Akihiko stopped walking to glare at his father.

"He'll only cause you trouble."

"He's not causing me any trouble at all!"

"Fine. How if it is the opposite," Fuyuhiko sighed in defeat. "You're the one that causing him trouble."

"…" Akihiko's eyes widened. He froze immediately.

Fuyuhiko saw his chance. "He's only an ordinary boy. Don't you ever think that he was living under pressure with you?"

"…"

"He's only twenty. He has his own life, his social live. Yet why he should live with your lifestyle? You will just ruin his life"

"…"

"He has a lot of things to begin with when he becomes an adult. It'll be the time when he has to think of his future, won't you be his obstacle?"

"…"

"Moreover with your attitude in overprotecting him. When he's an adult he won't need it again. He's a man, he'll chose his own way."

"…" Akihiko was silent all this time while Fuyuhiko continued to blabber his speech about Akihiko causing Misaki trouble. "M-Misaki loves m-me…" finally he could mutter something. An image of Misaki's love confession in Ferris wheel flashed in his head.

Akihiko's father paused for a second at Akihiko's word. But he then began again, "How many times he said it? maybe yes for now. But in the future, who knows?" He sighed again, "You should learn to detach yourself from him Akihiko. It's for your own and Takahashi-kun's sake."

"B-but-"

"And one thing," Fuyuhiko cut him off. "I don't want to say this but I know you're often force yourself on him."

"Misaki s-said he l-loves me…" Akihiko could only stutter weakly. Although he said that but he knew his father was right. His bangs covered his eyes. His eyes were really stung tears could flow anytime now.

"You forced yourself on him even before he accepts you, didn't you? He's not even a gay before."

Akihiko quickly turned his body so his back was facing his father. A single tear was running down his cheek. He refused to show it.

"Based on that fact can't you conclude that Takahashi-kun is attracted to you only because he couldn't resist your… assault? It means he's only after you because of lust. You are CORRUPTING that innocent boy."

"…" Akihiko's mind was all messed up now. Deep down in his heart he knew that all of his father's word was wrong. Misaki was already reassured his insecurities many times. But now his mind and brain was shutting down on him. He couldn't think clearly at all.

Seeing Akihiko's state, Fuyuhiko smiled inwardly. "Well then, I think that's all I want to say," he gathered his coat and stood. "Please think my words again," with that he left Akihiko's penthouse.

Akihiko couldn't stop thinking all of his father's words. He continued to stand there for who knows how long. When he realized it, it was already 3 PM.

"Misaki…" Akihiko thought. "I must pick him up know! I want to see my Misaki!" he quickly wiped his tears and ran to the door. He ran down hurriedly to his car and drove to Mitsuhashi University like madman.

When he arrived at Mitsuhashi, he quickly exited his car and rand to search his lover, not bother to close the car's door. He ignored all people who looked at him questioningly.

Finally he spotted Misaki. The boy was on the gazebo with his friends. He quickly ran towards him. However what he heard next made him stopped and hid behind the tree near the gazebo.

"Hey Misaki, you're Usami Akihiko's lover, aren't you?" One of Misaki's friend suddenly asked.

Misaki almost sputtered his juice on his friend's face. "WHAT?"

"Yeah, I heard he's screwing you hahaha. I didn't guess he's gay. And you're too!" his other friend added. They all laughed except Misaki who flustered uncontrollably.

"Lover your ass!" Misaki cried. "I'M NOT!

"Is that so?" they asked in teasing tone.

"Of course! Why should I with a freaking old man like him? an old man who can't take care of himself! It's impossible!" to be honest Misaki hated himself for saying it. But he needed to convince his friends. "I love girls! I'm completely not gay!"

Misaki wasn't aware a silver haired man behind the tree was hung his head in shame. The man moved slowly from his spot and walked lifelessly back to his red sport car. He ignited the engine and drove back towards his penthouse.

==o0o==o0o0o==o0o==

Later that day Misaki was cooking dinner in silent. He wondered why Akihiko didn't pick him up before. When he arrived home he was surprised. Akihiko was working in his office. It's unusual for the man to work so seriously like that and ignoring him. But Misaki shrugged it off. Maybe it's important work.

"Usagi-san, dinner is ready," Misaki called. But Akihiko didn't appear so Misaki went to his office. "Usagi-san?" he opened the door slowly as to not disturbing the man. The room was dark. Akihiko was sitting in front of his computer with his back facing Misaki. The only light in the room was from the man's computer

"Yes Misaki?" Akihiko answered without turning his body.

"I'm sorry for disturbing your work but dinner is ready," Misaki said, confused why Akihiko didn't look at him.

Sensing Misaki's confuse, Akihiko stood and walked to the boy. "I'm sorry Misaki, but this is an important work. Do you mind if I eat my dinner here?"

"Ah, okay," Misaki could feel something was off but he couldn't put what it is. "I'll bring it here."

"Thank you," Akihiko smiled then ruffled the boy's hair.

An hour later Akihiko was in front of his computer again. His dinner laid carelessly on the table. He stared at the blank screen. Although he had already there since he was back from Mitsuhashi, actually he hadn't written a single word. His mind was to preoccupied with the thought of his Misaki.

"_You're the one that causing him trouble."_

"_He has a lot of things to begin with when he becomes an adult. Won't you be his obstacle?"_

"_You forced yourself on him even before he accepts you. Takahashi-kun is attracted to you only because he couldn't resist your… assault. It means he's only after you because of lust._ _You are CORRUPTING that innocent boy."_

"_How many times he said it? Maybe yes for now. But are you sure he'll still love you in the future?_

"_Of course! Why should I with a freaking old man like him? An old man who can't take care of himself! It's impossible!"_

Akihiko felt like he could cry anytime now.

"Misaki…" he whispered desperately. "Misaki…"

"I'm so sorry…"

Later that night Misaki heard someone sobbing somewhere in the house. But he was too sleepy to notice it. 'It's impossible that Usagi-san is crying, isn't it?' the boy then drifted to sleep.

==o0o==o0o0o==o0o==

Misaki knew something was off here. Lately Akihiko was frequently left the house. The man still took him to school but never picked him up afterwards. He said he had some important things to do like meeting and so on. He often came back after midnight too. But a few days ago Aikawa-san called him asking where the author was. It means that Akihiko hadn't at Marukawa. When Misaki asked where he had been, Akihiko just said that it wasn't important. But Misaki could smell alcohol from Akihiko's shirt vaguely. He assured himself that maybe Akihiko was just a bit stressed about his work and need some time alone.

However, this time no matter how much Misaki assured himself that the man was only depressed, he felt his heart was going to tear apart. Here he was, standing on the door, just coming back from Uni. His hand frozen on the handle, his eyes as wide as saucer, and mouth practically gaped. He was sure he'll faint anytime now. "U-Usagi-san?"

**Two hours earlier…**

"Damn!" Akihiko cursed. He gulped his ninth glass of beer in frustration. "Damn my father, damn the causing trouble stuff, damn Misaki!" he paused. "Nooo! Misaki is not damn! Misaki is lovely. Cute and lovely. I'm the one who should damned…" he gulped his beer again while laughing crazily.

Akihiko was on the bar. Lately it was his favorite place. After that day with his father he felt like he was going to be crazy. Everyday he restrained himself for molesting Misaki and acted as if nothing had happened so Misaki wouldn't be worry. He knew Misaki could sense his rage so he tried avoiding the boy as much as possible.

Usually he would wander around the city without destination at noon and went to the bar at night. But this day he unusually went straight to the bar at 4PM. He really needed alcohol right now.

"Hei mister, I think it's enough for you," the bartender said to Akihiko. "Why are you so drunk this day? You usually didn't get too drunk before."

Akihiko lifted his head to look at the bartender. The man was right. Usually Akihiko always restrain himself so he was not too drunk. Sober enough to avoid Misaki's suspicion. The boy wouldn't happy if his lover was back in drunken state after all. "Hmm lover? Hahaha, is Misaki even love me? He just confessed it to me that one fucking time!" the drunk author began to laughing again. The bartender just sighed, well it's not his concern anyway.

"Usami-san?" a woman about his age suddenly poked him from behind.

"Hmm?" Akihiko turned to look at her but his eyes were too blurred to take a look.

"Are you his friend or something?" the bartender asked. The woman turned her head to his direction and nodded. "Then take him home before he passes out here. Looks like he's really stress his brain out."

"Okay. Come on Usami-san," the woman took Akihiko's hand and led him out of the bar. "I'll definitely take you home," she smiled slyly. Akihiko was too drunk to care that the woman took him. In fact he's already snored when she pulled him to his red sport car.

Misaki was stunned. He really couldn't process his brain right now. "U-Usagi-san?"

Akihiko was sprawled on the couch, topless, with a beautiful woman on top of him, kissing him! What really made Misaki's heart broke to pieces that the fact Akihiko was hugging that woman and kissing her back!

"Usagi-san?" Misaki's voice nearly broke.

Akihiko and the woman stopped what they were doing and looked up at the boy. "Ah I'm sorry you saw us," the woman said sheepishly and climbed off of Akihiko. Misaki could see the first few buttons of her shirt was undone.

Akihiko stood up quickly, "M-Misaki I-I-" He suddenly aware of his state. 'DAMN! What did I do!'

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Misaki screamed.

"M-Misa-"

"WHAT THE HELL!" the boy cut him off. Tears rolling down his cheeks like rain.

"Misaki, I can expla-"

"Explain your ASS!" Misaki cried. "I know. I FUCKING KNOW you're cheating on me! No wonder you're often come back after midnight lately! And I could smell woman's perfume on your shirt!"

"Calm do-"

"SHUT UP! I'm tired of you! You're just fucking me for your sick pleasure! You're always molesting me! You're ruining my life!"

Akihiko's heart nearly stopped.

"_You will just ruin his life."_

"You tricked me to fall for you!"

"_Takahashi-kun is attracted to you only because he couldn't resist your… assault"_

"I HATE YOU!"

"_Maybe yes for now. But are you sure he'll still love you in the future?_

Misaki ran to his bedroom and slammed the door closed with aloud BANG.

Meanwhile Akihiko still stood in the middle of living room. He didn't aware of his surrounding at all. All he could see was the image of Misaki and his words earlier.

The woman slowly gathered his stuff. "I'll call you again Usami-san." She then left the house. As he entered the elevator, she dialed a number. "Yes, yes I have done it. I have done all you wanted me to do Fuyuhiko-san."

==o0o==o0o0o==o0o==

Akihiko felt like he had already died. He wasn't drunk anymore but his head was like going to explode. He was lying on his stomach on the bed, face burying on the pillow. He spent the night without sleep at all. He replayed all of Misaki's word t him. He was also reflecting his father's words a few days ago.

"I'm indeed ruining your life Misaki, I'm so sorry," Akihiko muttered to himself. He could hear Misaki's sobbed on the other room. It broke his heart so badly. His pillow became damp by his own tears. "I'm so sorry Misaki. I'm so sorry," he clenched his fist. "I won't bother you anymore. I promise you'll free from me. Please bear the pain just for this time. I swear this is the last. I swear."

==o0o==o0o0o==o0o==

This morning was gloom. The sky was cloudy it seemed that it would rain anytime soon. Once in a while the sky flashed the lightning. This situation didn't help Akihiko's at all. But he was already decided with his whole heart so he wouldn't cancel it.

Akihiko was sitting on the couch in the living room. He wore his glasses to hide his bloodshot eyes from sleepless night. He pretended reading some book. A moment later he heard Misaki walked down the stairs. Akihiko inhaled deeply to calm his nerves, 'I must do this. I must. For Misaki's sake!'

"Ah, you're up Misaki," Akihiko faked a calm voice, never moving his eyes from the book. "I'm sorry for last night."

"…" Misaki paused his walking but didn't answer.

"I didn't mean to make a show last night." Calm Akihiko, calm. "I should bring her to my bedroom instead of making out on the couch." No, don't look at Misaki. "It seemed I'm too tired to make it to the bedroom." Don't choke. My voice must calm! "Yeah, something like that."

"Y-you… so she i-is your girlfriend?" Misaki's voice was hoarse.

Akihiko tightened his hold on the hardcover book his knuckles turned white. Without looking to the boy, he knew Misaki was crying again. He was desperately restrained his body with all of his might to not ran to the boy, hugging him and saying sorry again and again until his tongue broke. No, he would stay on his spot whatever no matter what happened.

"Well, it's more like one night stand," Calm down. I won't cry dammit! "I'm tired. You're always refused to have sex with me. I need to get laid you know."

A loud smash sound echoed in the living room. A second later Akihiko felt his left cheek stung and his glasses shattered on the floor. Misaki stood in front of him. His face was horrible, tears streaming down his cheeks. His eyes red from crying all night.

"I HATE YOU!" with that Misaki stormed out of the house.

Silent…

Five minutes had passed but Akihiko didn't move from his spot at all. After regaining some composure he placed the book he was holding on the table then leaned his back against the couch. His left cheek was in flame. He never felt this sad before even when Takahiro announced his marriage. He didn't make an effort to wipe the tears streaming down on his face like rain at all.

At that time Usami Akihiko knew he was dead.

==o0o==o0o0o==o0o==

The event after that day could be guessed. That night Takahiro called him asking why Misaki acting weird and informed him that Misaki was in his home.

A week later Takahiro stormed to his house and almost killed Akihiko. Takahiro had forced Misaki to give an explanation about his horrible state, asking why his brother suddenly barged to his home and cried his eyes out. And the boy couldn't take it anymore, he told all to his brother including their hidden relationship for three years. Takahiro couldn't be angrier. As soon as Misaki stopped his story to cry harder, he drove to Akihiko's penthouse like a madman.

"HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO MY BROTHER YOU BASTARD!" Takahiro strike him hard on the face. "YOU FOOLED HIM! YOU TRICKED HIM! I BELIEVE YOU! BUT YOU FUCKING RAPE HIM! YOU STUPID FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, BASTARD!"

Akihiko didn't fight back at all. In fact he wished Takahiro could kill him at that time. Unfortunately Manami came and forced Takahiro to come back home before his husband became a murderer.

"I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE EVER AGAIN BASTARD!"

That was the last word Akihiko heard from his first love and best friend.

==o0o==o0o0o==o0o==

**Six years later…**

The street lamp gleamed in the quite alleyway. Sound of cars and traffic could be heard vaguely from afar. The sky was dark, all stars was hidden behind the cloud. A dog was barking once awhile, ceasing the silent night.

The air was cold. A silver haired man was waking in that silent alleyway. A cigarette was dangling on his mouth. He took it from his mouth and blew the smoke absentmindedly, one hand deep in his pocket.

"Misaki…" the man whispered softly. However, the answer was just the soft wind on his skin. "Misaki…"

Akihiko continued walking. He exited the alleyway and walked towards a slightly crowded street. He then entered café and sat beside the wide glass facing the street, looking peoples walking. He looked at his own reflection on the glass: A 37 years old man that seemed older than his actual age, considering the ugly wrinkled on his face, disheveled gray hair and lifeless eyes.

He reflected his life in the past six years. After the incident with Takahiro, Akihiko moved out of town. Still in Tokyo but in coastal areas. He didn't bring anything. He even didn't bring Suzuki-san. He didn't want anything that reminds him for his life: Misaki.

At first Aikawa questioning him but shut up immediately after he said that he and Misaki had broke up. She just gave him sympathy look. She knew better the author didn't like someone pitying him and the man silently thanking her for that.

Akihiko still continued to write novel but he ended all of the BL ones. He was back to his solitary life. Even more solitary this time. He never talked to anyone except Aikawa and a few people from Marukawa. Isaka never success convincing him to attend his awards. Even Fuyuhiko had given up his attempt to make Akihiko back to the Usami estate.

The man smiled hollowly to himself. Yes, Usami Akihiko was already dead. He just lived in his novel, in his fantasy.

"Papa! I want that!" a childish voice caught Akihiko's attention. A little boy with chocolate brown hair around age two was tugging his father's trousers.

Akihiko stopped his breathing at all for a second. In front of a toy store, there was a young man with brown hair and emerald eyes, talking to his son.

"Geez Haru, I just brought you a transformer toy yesterday," the young man said to his child.

"But I want thaaat," the little boy named Haru whined.

"No," The young man insisted. "We'll visit uncle Takahiro tomorrow. I know Mahiro has that kind of toy. You can play it with him okay?" he patted his son's head.

"Really?" Haru's eyes lit up. "Okay let's go there now!"

"No no, it's tomorrow," the young man lifted Haru, carrying him in his arms. "Now lets go home first okay?" he smiled.

"Okay papa," the little boy answered cheerfully. The father and son then walked again, disappearing from Akihiko's sight.

Akihiko started breathing normally again. He never felt this alive for six years. His bangs covered his eyes, a bead of tear rolling down his left cheek. He lifted his cup of coffee in front of his face to hide the tears. Noone in this world had his permission to see his tears except one certain person he ever give all his life.

"I love you Misaki… I love you forever…"

**END**

**Me: Okay, I'll kill myself now for separating our favorite Usagi-san and Misaki. I'm such a jerk.**

**Akihiko: Don't bother. I'll be the one who kill you.**

**Me: So cruel…. You should thank me. At least I didn't make you commit suicide in this story…**

**Akihiko: *throws a hardcover book on author head***

**Me: Aw! Readers… *Akihiko continue to throw books* r-review please… *more books* aw! I'll be very glad to read your review before this crazy man kill meee…!**

**Akihiko: *lifts a butcher knives***

**Me: GYAAAAAAAAAHH *runs out***


End file.
